


No strings

by liars_dance



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-29 00:52:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3876241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liars_dance/pseuds/liars_dance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Viggo said. 'no strings', he meant it - at the time...</p>
            </blockquote>





	No strings

The call had come out of the blue. "I was thinking about us having a drink, Sean – and the chance to talk. No strings, so what d'you say?"

 _Good question, Viggo. What do I say? If I say yes straightaway I'll look desperate and over eager and then I'll be disappointed. But if I say no –_

"I said a drink," Viggo repeated, and Sean could hear a note of weary frustration in the words coming from so many miles away. _But if I say no, I'll never know if –_

"And maybe a bite to eat. C'mon, Sean. It's no big deal and it's not a trick question," Viggo continued. "Because I'll be in London on Tuesday and I thought –" 

"You thought I'd have nowt better to do on a random Tuesday in March." But there was a smile on Sean's face – a self deprecating smile – as he interrupted Viggo's explanation. Because he didn't have anything better to do – and hadn't done for a long time. "And you'd be right, Vig – so yeah, why not? For old times' sake and all that."

"I wasn't actually thinking that all, Bean – but great that you're up for getting together; it's been a long time." 

_Was that a sigh of relief I just heard, or am I imagining things? Because I'm good at that, aren't I, Viggo? Once upon a time I imagined that you were interested in me. I even imagined that you might be a little in love with me... But we both know how wrong I was there. How did I get that so wrong? So much for fucking fairy tales..._ Sean swallowed and looked out of the window and into the London sky. "Yeah, I suppose it's been a while." _Liar, Bean – you know exactly how long it's been – down to the minute – well, almost..._ "So where d'you fancy going, Vig?"

"I was thinking about your place, if that's okay," Viggo replied. "I mean – it's quiet and private, we could have a drink and catch up then decide if we want to go have supper somewhere."

Sean frowned, wondering if he'd have enough time to tidy the place up a bit before Tuesday. "Yeah, okay – that'll do me. And if we're hungry we can always order some takeaway locally. Ring me when you get into London and we'll sort a time."

"Sure – I'll do that. I just need to get to the hotel and shower; I reckon it'll be around seven if the flight's on time."

"That's fine by me." But the question had to be asked. "Er, Viggo?"

"Hmm?"

"Why now? I mean, it's been a long time." Sean heard Viggo take a breath.

"Simple. I miss you, Sean. I miss our friendship – I miss _us_." 

Sean took a step backwards - as if Viggo was there in front of him. "Us? There was never an 'us'," he replied, surprised by the tinge of bitterness he could hear in his words. "And you weren't interested in friendship. How can you talk like that about something that never was and miss something you never had?"

"I don't know," Viggo said with a sigh. "But I did, and I still do. There are things I want to say, Sean – and we used to be friends. So, will I still see you Tuesday?" 

Sean knew there was no backing out now, even though a part of him wanted to. "Yeah, Vig – of course you will. See you soon. Bye now." Sean pocketed his phone and sat down, and only then did he realise that he was shaking. Whether this was due to shock, anger, fear or excitement, he wasn't sure. Maybe it was a mix of them all.

\-- [*] -- 

Thankfully he'd stopped shaking within a few minutes, galvanised into action by the thought of Viggo's visit and the need to tidy up the place. He wanted both himself and his home to exude a relaxed but ordered feel; his things should be in their rightful spot, but he also wanted the house to feel welcoming and not overly tidy; Viggo didn't do tidy...

When Tuesday evening finally arrived and arrangements were made, Sean was ready. Well, he was as ready as he believed he could be, given who was coming. And despite the initial tension he'd felt when he'd opened the door, Sean had returned Viggo's brief hug and taken him through to the comfortable living room – and soon began to relax. Sean had always been a good host, Viggo responded and before long they were discussing, with a measured ease, a range of topics covering family and mutual friends and acquaintances, current, past and future projects, politics, ecology and football – until there was just the one subject left – that which Viggo had described as 'us'.

"You said there were things that you wanted to say," Sean said quietly as he topped up their glasses. "I'm assuming we haven't covered it already." 

Viggo swallowed. "You're right. We haven't covered it."

"So?" Sean prompted encouragingly.

Viggo took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "I know I said no strings when I called you. But what would you say if I told you I was wrong all those years ago, Sean? That I lied? That now strings sound good?" 

Sean stared at Viggo in disbelief. "What would I say? I'd say you're taking the piss and that you're a bit bloody late," Sean muttered. "You had your chance, Viggo – _we_ had our chance, I suppose. But you made it clear how you felt, as I recall – and you walked away – even from our friendship. You walked away from everything – and not a word since." 

"I know," Viggo replied, dropping his head into his hands. "Christ, Sean, I regret doing that so much, and I –" 

"Not at the time, I'll bet," Sean interrupted. "I'd say all you felt back then was relief. Go on, Vig – tell me I'm wrong."

Viggo's head snapped up. "I will – because you _are_ wrong, Sean. I got no pleasure from walking away, as you call it. All I felt back then was sadness and a huge sense of regret. But everyone was telling me that you were straight – a real ladies' man – and anything that might happen during a shoot would be just a fling. Well, I wasn't interested in a fling, and given the high profile of the movies and all the attention, I really believed at the time that I'd done the right thing for both of us – and for our families."

"At the time?" Sean repeated, silently wondering who these people were who had been telling Viggo these things. "Meaning what?"

"Meaning that I was wrong, Sean." Viggo leaned back, almost in a gesture of resignation. "I should have taken a chance with you."

Sean shook his head with a mirthless chuckle. "Hindsight's a wonderful thing, isn't it? But when you realised that, you did what, Viggo? Nothing – that's what." Suddenly needing some more air and space between them, Sean drained his glass and stood up, moving across the room to the window.

"I'm sorry," Viggo mumbled, only now feeling the combined effects of his long flight and a bottle of red. "I know it sounds like a crock, Sean, but I didn't think you'd be interested in what I had to say – and besides, by what I'd heard, you'd already moved on." Viggo rubbed his tired eyes. "Seemed you'd found what you really wanted, Sean; blonde, pretty, long-legged girls – and lots of them..."

Sean sighed and leaned his forehead against the glass, his anger dissipating fast. Yes, they had all been pretty girls, but they weren't what he wanted... "Yeah, yeah," Sean murmured, "but I'm not with any of them anymore." He inhaled deeply. "Listen, Viggo, don't you think it would've made sense to talk to me in the first place rather than listen to fuck knows who talking about stuff they know fuck all about? And I don't buy the 'I didn't think you'd be interested in me' bollocks either," he continued before Viggo could answer. "You were important to me and we were friends, Viggo; I was always interested in what you had to say, even if I didn't understand what you were on about half the time. It wasn't me who seemed to forget what friendship was all about – it was you. I mean, I got that you didn't fancy me – even though it hurt, but I thought our friendship would weather that, but I was wrong. And to be honest, that hurts even more."

Sean swallowed the lump that had developed unbidden and uncontrolled in his throat. When no response was forthcoming, Sean turned to look at Viggo, half wondering if he'd fallen asleep. But he hadn't. He was up on his feet and reaching for the door handle and looking very much like he was about to leave. 

"What the... You're not leaving?" Sean asked, biting back the desire to add the word 'again'... 

Viggo pushed his hand through his hair and turned. "No – yeah," he murmured. "I think its best that I go."

Sean shook his head. "Never took you for a fucking coward, Viggo," Sean said softly. 

"I'm not a coward," Viggo replied. "I'm just admitting defeat. My coming here was a mistake, Sean. I've only made things worse."

"I see. And would that be worse for me, or worse for you, eh?" Sean countered, anger rising inside him once more. 

"For me, I guess," Viggo replied. "Because it's made me realise what a stupid and selfish prick I am – and a fucking lousy friend – a friend you're better off without."

"Good," Sean growled. "Because a stupid and selfish prick and a fucking lousy friend is exactly what you are."

"I know – and I'm sorry. I really wish things were different, Sean – I wish I'd done and said things differently."

Sean didn't answer. He wished things were different too – but there had been too much hurt – hadn't there?

"I'll be going then," Viggo said softly, bending to pick up his jacket but as he straightened, he suddenly found himself pushed backwards and pinned to the wall by the weight of Sean's body.

"No, you're not," Sean growled, holding Viggo's arms with what he suspected was a bruising grip, but not really caring. "Stuff this, Vig. You're not going anywhere until you start being honest with yourself and with me and start talking some bloody sense."

But rendered breathless and a little shaken by Sean's sudden and unexpected move, Viggo found he was unable to saying anything at all. 

"Okay, let's cut to the chase," Sean murmured, leaning in closer. "Did you come over here because you want me? And I don't mean for a night – I mean, you want _me_. Tell me, Viggo."

Viggo swallowed and stared into Sean's face. "Yes," he whispered. "Yes, I did and yes I do. But I'm scared, Sean. I –" But Sean's lips and tongue cut short his attempt to explain. The kiss was hard and hot and more than a little angry but Viggo welcomed it – took it, his arms by his sides still held in a vice like grip. Then suddenly the pressure grip on his arms was released, he was pulled into a hug and the kiss softened, became more tender – but no less hot. When the kiss ended, Viggo looped his arms round Sean's waist, closed his eyes and tried to catch his breath.

"It's not too late to be friends again, Viggo," Sean murmured into Viggo's hair. "It'll never be too late for that. But as much as I want you – and as good as you feel in my arms right now, I don't want to make a fool of meself again, or for you to do or say anything you might regret later. " 

Sean's body was hard and warm and safe, and Viggo pressed closer, smiling as he as he lifted his head. "The only fool around here is me, Sean," he whispered. "And for the record, I always fancied you; I just listened to other views when I should have trusted my own instincts. So right this minute I'm not regretting anything. I'm bloody starving and dead on my feet though."

Sean chuckled and led Viggo back to the sofa and back into his arms. "I took the liberty of ordering in pizza for nine thirty," he purred.

"Good," Viggo whispered with a yawn, tucking his head under Sean's chin. "Y'know, one of those views warned me not to hurt you, or use you, because you weren't half as tough as you liked people to think you were."

"They did? They sound like –"

"A friend looking out for you?" Viggo interjected.

"Yeah," Sean replied with a sigh. "And a friend who knows me well. Who was it?"

"Maybe I'll tell you one day," Viggo murmured, his eyes closing. But he wouldn't - because all these views were just competing thoughts inside his own head. "Then there was another that convinced me I was just an infatuation you had, nothing more."

"Bollocks," Sean retorted. "I knew how I felt then and I know how I feel now; that someone knows nowt. Is there anything else? You might as well tell me it all."

Viggo took a breath and sat up so he could see Sean's face. "Yeah – there was the one that convinced me that you fell in love real easy, but you fell out of love real easy too. They said it would end in tears because that's what happened with you. They said you'd break my heart. They said you probably wouldn't mean to, but you'd break it all the same." 

Sean gazed into Viggo's eyes. "I wouldn't do anything deliberately to hurt you," he says softly. "I hope you know that, despite the passing of time."

"I think I do now, but not back then. Listen, Sean – I'm not asking you to commit to anything at all; I'm just asking you to give us the chance to make something work between us, whatever that something might be. What d'you say?"

Sean smiled and glanced at his watch. "I say the pizzas will be here in twenty minutes."

"Twenty minutes," Viggo repeated, placing a hand on Sean's chest. "Any ideas on how to keep me awake until then?"

\-- [END] --


End file.
